What to Wear to a Funeral

Choosing what to wear to a funeral creates anxiety for many people. The desire to show respect while avoiding inappropriate attire, combined with varying cultural expectations and changing social norms, makes funeral dress codes feel complicated and confusing. Understanding what to wear to a funeral helps you navigate this sensitive situation with confidence and appropriateness.

Funeral attire has evolved significantly over the decades. While strict black mourning clothes once represented the only acceptable choice, modern funerals show more flexibility while still maintaining respectful standards. Knowing what to wear to a funeral depends on several factors including the type of service, religious or cultural traditions, stated preferences of the family, and your relationship to the deceased.

The Short Answer: What to wear to a funeral: Conservative, respectful clothing in dark or muted colors works best. For men, a dark suit or dress pants with collared shirt and tie; for women, a modest dress, skirt and blouse, or pantsuit. Black is traditional but navy, gray, or dark colors are appropriate. Avoid bright colors, casual wear, revealing clothing, and flashy accessories.

What to Wear to a Funeral: General Guidelines

Traditional Funeral Attire Principles

Core Principles for What to Wear to a Funeral:

Conservative and Modest:

• Clothing should not draw attention to you
• Focus should remain on the deceased and grieving family
• Err on the side of formal rather than casual

Respectful and Somber:

• Dark, muted colors reflect serious occasion
• Avoid bright, cheerful colors or patterns
• Clean, neat, and well-maintained clothing

Culturally Appropriate:

• Consider religious or cultural traditions
• Respect family’s stated preferences
• When in doubt, ask or dress conservatively

According to etiquette experts at the Emily Post Institute (https://emilypost.com), funeral attire should demonstrate respect through understated, modest choices that don’t distract from the service’s purpose.

The Evolution of Funeral Dress Codes:

Traditional Standards (Pre-1980s):

• Strict black clothing required
• Women wore veils or hats
• Men wore dark suits exclusively
• Bright colors considered highly inappropriate

Modern Standards (1980s-Present):

• Dark colors beyond black acceptable
• More flexibility in style choices
• Business formal to business casual range
• Some celebration of life services allow brighter colors
• Family preferences increasingly communicated

Contemporary Trend: Growing acceptance of “celebration of life” services sometimes include requests for specific colors, casual dress, or even themed attire. However, unless explicitly stated, conservative dress remains safest choice.

Color Guidelines for What to Wear to a Funeral

Most Appropriate Funeral Colors:

Black:

• Most traditional and universally appropriate
• Safe choice for any funeral
• Conveys respect and solemnity
• Never wrong for funeral attire

Navy Blue:

• Excellent alternative to black
• Professional and respectful
• Particularly appropriate for daytime services
• Works well for those uncomfortable in all black

Dark Gray/Charcoal:

• Sophisticated and respectful
• Good option for business attire
• Appropriate for all funeral types

Dark Brown:

• More common in European funerals
• Acceptable in most American contexts
• Particularly suitable for autumn/winter services

Other Dark, Muted Colors:

• Dark green, burgundy, or purple acceptable
• Should be very muted, not bright
• Solid colors preferable to patterns
• Use discretion and consider context

Colors to Avoid at Funerals:

• Bright red, orange, yellow
• Hot pink, lime green, electric blue
• Neon or fluorescent colors
• Large, bold patterns
• Anything that draws attention

White at Funerals: White has different meanings culturally:

• Western tradition: Generally avoid (associated with joy/celebration)
• Asian/Chinese funerals: White is traditional mourning color
• Southern U.S.: More accepted than in other regions
• Consider cultural context before wearing

What to say at a funeral focuses on words of comfort, while what to wear focuses on visual respect.

What to Wear to a Funeral: Men’s Attire

Men’s Formal Funeral Attire

Complete Outfit Components:

The Suit:

• Dark suit (black, navy, or charcoal gray)
• Two-piece or three-piece both appropriate
• Well-fitted and clean
• Conservative cut (not trendy or flashy)

Dress Shirt:

• White or light-colored dress shirt preferred
• Long sleeves appropriate year-round
• Well-pressed and clean
• Conservative collar style

Tie:

• Dark, solid color tie (black, navy, burgundy)
• Subtle patterns acceptable (small stripes, minimal design)
• Properly tied and adjusted
• Avoid novelty ties, bright colors, or cartoon characters

Shoes:

• Black or dark brown leather dress shoes
• Well-polished and clean
• Oxford, derby, or loafer style
• Dress socks matching shoes (no white athletic socks)

Belt:

• Dark leather belt matching shoes
• Simple buckle, not ornate
• Proper fit and condition

Example Complete Outfit: Black suit, white dress shirt, black tie, black leather oxfords, black belt, dark dress socks = appropriate for any funeral.

Men’s Business Casual Funeral Attire

When Slightly Less Formal is Acceptable:

Some funerals, particularly celebration of life services or less formal gatherings, permit business casual:

Appropriate Business Casual:

• Dark dress slacks (not jeans)
• Dress shirt or polo shirt (collared)
• Optional sport coat or blazer
• Leather shoes (not sneakers)
• Belt

Still Avoid:

• Jeans, shorts, or cargo pants
• T-shirts, tank tops, or athletic wear
• Sneakers, sandals, or flip-flops
• Hats worn indoors

When Business Casual Works:

• Family explicitly states casual attire acceptable
• Celebration of life service with relaxed tone
• Outdoor memorial service
• Graveside-only service in very hot weather

Men’s Summer Funeral Attire

Hot Weather Considerations:

Maintaining Respect in Heat:

• Lightweight suit in breathable fabric (tropical wool, linen blend)
• Light-colored dress shirt (still conservative)
• Remove jacket during outdoor portions (keep for service)
• Lightweight dress pants if suit too hot
• Keep tie on during service

What Not to Do:

• Don’t wear shorts (ever)
• Don’t go tieless unless specifically permitted
• Don’t wear sandals or open-toed shoes
• Don’t skip socks

What to Wear to a Funeral: Women’s Attire

Women’s Formal Funeral Attire

Dress Options:

Black Dress:

• Knee-length or longer preferred
• Modest neckline (nothing low-cut or revealing)
• Sleeves or with appropriate cardigan/jacket
• Simple, understated style
• Avoid overly tight or body-conscious fits

Skirt and Blouse:

• Dark skirt (knee-length minimum)
• Conservative blouse (not low-cut)
• Pair with blazer or cardigan
• Closed-toe shoes

Pantsuit:

• Increasingly acceptable for women
• Dark pants (black, navy, gray)
• Matching or coordinating jacket
• Conservative blouse underneath
• Professional appearance

Shoes:

• Closed-toe pumps or flats
• Dark color matching outfit
• Modest heel height (if heels worn)
• Well-maintained and clean
• Consider comfort for standing

Hosiery:

• Sheer neutral or dark hosiery traditional
• Not required in modern practice
• More expected at formal or religious services
• Bare legs acceptable if modest dress length

Jewelry and Accessories:

• Minimal, understated jewelry
• Avoid large, flashy pieces
• Simple studs, small necklace, watch
• Wedding/engagement rings always appropriate

The International Cemetery, Cremation and Funeral Association (https://www.iccfa.com) notes that women’s funeral attire has become more flexible while maintaining modesty standards.

Women’s Business Casual Funeral Attire

Less Formal Women’s Options:

When family indicates less formal attire acceptable:

Appropriate Choices:

• Dark dress pants with nice blouse
• Modest casual dress (still dark/muted colors)
• Skirt with sweater or blouse
• Dress flats or modest heels

Still Maintain:

• Modest necklines and hemlines
• Dark or muted colors
• Conservative, neat appearance
• Covered shoulders

Avoid Even in Casual:

• Jeans, leggings as pants, yoga pants
• T-shirts, tank tops, crop tops
• Short skirts or dresses
• Flip-flops, athletic shoes, casual sandals
• Overly casual fabrics (sweatshirt material)

Women’s Summer Funeral Attire

Dressing Appropriately in Heat:

Summer-Appropriate Options:

• Lightweight dark dress (breathable fabric)
• Linen or cotton blend suit
• Sleeveless dress with cardigan or shawl
• Remove jacket during outdoor portions
• Lighter-weight hosiery or none

Maintaining Modesty:

• Keep shoulders covered during service
• Appropriate hemline regardless of temperature
• Avoid sundresses or beachwear styles
• Carry wrap or cardigan for air-conditioned spaces

What to Wear to a Funeral: Special Circumstances

What to Wear to a Funeral: Children and Teens

Children’s Funeral Attire:

Younger Children (Under 12):

• Dark or muted colored clothes
• Neat, clean appearance
• Age-appropriate dress-up clothes
• Comfort matters (long service)
• Shoes they can walk in easily

Acceptable for Young Children:

• Dark pants/skirt with polo or nice shirt
• Simple dress in appropriate color
• Dress shoes or clean, dark sneakers
• Less formal acceptable given age

Teenagers:

• Follow adult guidelines more closely
• Business casual minimum
• Dark jeans with dress shirt acceptable at some services
• No athletic wear, shorts, or revealing clothing
• Age-appropriate modesty

Teaching Respect: Funeral attire provides opportunity to teach children about showing respect through appearance and behavior.

What to Wear to a Funeral: Pregnant Women

Maternity Funeral Attire:

Comfortable Modest Options:

• Dark maternity dress
• Black maternity pants with tunic or blouse
• Comfortable, supportive shoes
• Layers for temperature regulation

Practical Considerations:

• Comfort crucial for potentially long service
• Bathroom accessibility important
• Ability to sit/stand repeatedly
• Temperature fluctuations common

It’s Understood: Pregnant women showing need for comfort are given grace. Modesty and dark colors matter more than perfect formality.

What to Wear to a Funeral: Active Duty Military

Military Funeral Attire:

Active Duty Service Members:

• Military dress uniform entirely appropriate
• Often preferred for military funerals
• Follow proper uniform regulations
• Medals and decorations as appropriate

Veterans Not on Active Duty:

• Civilian funeral attire typically worn
• Military dress uniform acceptable if it still fits
• Veteran pins or small military insignia appropriate
• Respect current uniform regulations if wearing uniform

Military Funeral Specifics: Military funerals with honors include service members in uniform as part of honor guard. This is expected and appropriate. How long after death is the funeral matters for coordinating military attendance.

What to Wear to a Funeral: Very Hot or Cold Weather

Extreme Weather Modifications:

Very Hot Weather:

• Lightweight, breathable fabrics
• Remove jacket between services
• Light-colored shirt under dark jacket
• Skip tie if family indicates acceptable
• Maintain respect despite heat

Very Cold Weather:

• Dress coat over funeral attire
• Remove coat during indoor service
• Gloves and scarf acceptable
• Boots acceptable for snow (bring dress shoes if possible)
• Layer conservatively colored clothing

Practical Outerwear: Weather-appropriate outerwear in dark colors doesn’t detract from respect. Dress underneath should still be appropriate.

What to Wear to a Funeral: Religious and Cultural Considerations

What to Wear to a Catholic Funeral

Catholic Funeral Attire:

Traditional, conservative dress expected:

Men:

• Dark suit and tie
• White or light dress shirt
• Conservative appearance
• Remove hat inside church

Women:

• Modest dress, skirt, or pantsuit
• Covered shoulders during Mass
• Knee-length or longer hemline
• Consider headcovering (optional in modern practice but some traditional Catholics appreciate)

Respectful Gestures:

• Stand, kneel, and sit appropriately during Mass
• Modest, formal attire shows respect for liturgy

What to Wear to a Jewish Funeral

Jewish Funeral Attire:

Conservative dress with specific customs:

Men:

• Dark suit and tie
• Yarmulke (skullcap) required for service
• Often provided at funeral home or synagogue
• Long sleeves and pants

Women:

• Modest dress or suit
• Covered shoulders and knees
• Conservative neckline
• Married women may cover hair (Orthodox tradition)

Color Considerations: Black is traditional, though other dark colors acceptable. Some reform communities are more flexible.

Torn Ribbon: Family members may wear torn black ribbon (keriah) symbolizing grief. Guests do not wear this.

What to Wear to a Muslim Funeral

Islamic Funeral Attire:

Modesty paramount in Islamic tradition:

Men:

• Conservative pants and shirt
• Long sleeves and long pants required
• No shorts or tank tops
• Remove shoes for prayer portions

Women:

• Full coverage required
• Arms and legs completely covered
• Headscarf (hijab) required for prayer portions
• Loose-fitting, not form-fitting clothing
• Modest colors (black, gray, navy)

Non-Muslim Attendees: Expected to follow same modesty standards out of respect. Mosques often provide headscarves for women who don’t have them.

What to Wear to a Hindu Funeral

Hindu Funeral Attire:

Traditional Approach:

• White is traditional color of mourning
• Simple, modest clothing
• Remove shoes when appropriate
• Conservative, respectful appearance

Western Context: Hindus in United States often blend traditions:

• White or dark colors both acceptable
• Modest, conservative clothing
• Follow family’s lead on specific customs

What to Wear to a Buddhist Funeral

Buddhist Funeral Attire:

General Guidelines:

• Simple, modest clothing
• Dark colors preferred
• Conservative appearance
• Respect for solemn occasion

Variation by Tradition: Buddhist practices vary significantly by country of origin (Japanese, Tibetan, Thai, etc.). Follow specific cultural cues when possible.

What to Wear to a “Celebration of Life” Service

Non-Traditional Memorial Services:

Increasingly common “celebration of life” services may have different dress codes:

When Family States “Casual” or “Colorful”:

• Honor the request if explicitly stated
• Business casual still safer than very casual
• Bright colors acceptable if requested
• Still maintain modesty and taste

When Family Requests Specific Colors:

• “Please wear purple” (deceased’s favorite color)
• “Wear Hawaiian shirts” (themed request)
• Honor these requests—it shows respect

When Unclear:

• Default to business casual or traditional funeral attire
• Can ask funeral home or family member
• Better to be slightly overdressed than underdressed

The National Funeral Directors Association (https://www.nfda.org) notes growing trend toward personalized services with varying dress code expectations.

What NOT to Wear to a Funeral

Completely Inappropriate Funeral Attire

Never Acceptable at Funerals:

Clothing Items to Avoid:

• Shorts (for any age above young children)
• Tank tops, halter tops, spaghetti straps
• Crop tops or midriff-baring shirts
• Ripped, torn, or distressed clothing
• Clothing with offensive graphics or text
• Athletic wear, gym clothes, yoga pants
• Swimwear or beach attire
• Pajamas or sleepwear-style clothing

Footwear to Avoid:

• Flip-flops or beach sandals
• Athletic sneakers (unless young child)
• Dirty or damaged shoes
• Extremely high or stiletto heels (impractical and distracting)
• Work boots or hiking boots (unless outdoor service)

Accessories to Avoid:

• Large, flashy jewelry
• Baseball caps or casual hats (men)
• Sunglasses worn indoors
• Large bags or backpacks
• Excessive piercings or visible body jewelry

Grooming Issues:

• Overly casual hairstyles
• Excessive makeup
• Strong perfume or cologne
• Unkempt appearance

Common Funeral Attire Mistakes

Subtle Errors to Avoid:

Too Casual: Most common mistake—treat funeral as serious formal occasion, not casual gathering.

Too Revealing: Modesty crucial. Low necklines, short hemlines, tight clothing all inappropriate regardless of formality level.

Too Attention-Getting: Funeral isn’t occasion for fashion statement. Blend in rather than stand out.

Wrong Shoes: Uncomfortable shoes cause problems during potentially long services with standing. Balance respect with practicality.

Weather Inappropriate: Freezing in summer dress or overheating in winter suit—dress appropriately for weather while maintaining respect.

Ignoring Stated Preferences: If family requests specific dress code, honor it even if unconventional.

What to Wear to a Funeral: Shopping and Planning

Building a Funeral-Appropriate Wardrobe

Essential Items to Own:

For Men:

• One dark suit (black, navy, or charcoal)
• White dress shirts
• Conservative ties
• Black dress shoes
• Dark dress socks
• Black belt

For Women:

• Black dress or dark pantsuit
• Black skirt with several blouse options
• Black closed-toe pumps or flats
• Dark hosiery
• Simple jewelry
• Black cardigan or blazer

Budget-Friendly Options:

• Thrift stores often have excellent dark suits and dresses
• Department store clearance racks
• Classic styles don’t go out of fashion
• One good outfit sufficient (funerals are infrequent)

Last-Minute Funeral Attire Solutions

When You Don’t Have Appropriate Clothing:

Borrowing:

• Ask family member or friend similar size
• Many people understand urgent need
• Church clothing closets sometimes help

Quick Shopping:

• Department stores carry basics
• Target, Walmart have inexpensive dark clothing
• Men’s Wearhouse, similar stores rent suits
• Online ordering with expedited shipping

Making Do:

• Darkest clothing you own
• Remove any casual elements (turn shirt inside out if graphic)
• Borrow shoes or accessories
• Clean and press carefully

Financial Hardship: If attending funeral is financial hardship, wear the most respectful clothing you have. Attendance matters more than perfect outfit. What is the cheapest way to be buried discusses funeral costs, but attending as guest should not create undue financial burden.

Common Questions About What to Wear to a Funeral

Can you wear jeans to a funeral?

Generally no. Dark jeans might be acceptable at very casual celebration of life services if family explicitly states casual attire welcome, but traditional funerals require dress pants or slacks. When in doubt, choose dress pants over jeans.

Do you have to wear black to a funeral?

No, though black is safest choice. Dark navy, gray, or other muted dark colors are appropriate. Avoid bright colors unless family specifically requests them. Black shows respect and is universally acceptable.

Can women wear pants to a funeral?

Yes, absolutely. Pantsuits, dress pants with blouse, and similar options are completely appropriate for women at modern funerals. Modesty and conservative appearance matter more than wearing dress versus pants.

Should men wear a suit to a funeral?

Business formal (suit and tie) is traditional and always appropriate. However, business casual (dress pants, collared shirt, optional blazer) acceptable at less formal services. Suit is safest choice when unsure.

What do you wear to a funeral when you don’t have funeral clothes?

Wear darkest, most conservative clothing you own. Clean and neat appearance matters most. Borrow if possible. Most people understand not everyone owns funeral attire and will be gracious if you make effort to dress respectfully.

Can you wear a hat to a funeral?

Women’s dress hats are traditionally acceptable and sometimes expected at formal funerals. Men should remove hats indoors. Casual hats (baseball caps) are inappropriate. Religious head coverings (yarmulke, hijab) are expected when culturally appropriate.

Is it disrespectful to overdress for a funeral?

No, overdressing for funeral is not disrespectful. Better to be too formal than too casual. Wearing suit to casual service is fine; wearing jeans to formal service is not. Err on side of formality.

The Bottom Line on What to Wear to a Funeral

What to wear to a funeral centers on showing respect through modest, conservative, dark-colored clothing that doesn’t draw attention. For most American funerals, dark suits for men and modest dresses or pantsuits for women in black, navy, or dark colors represent safe, appropriate choices. Religious and cultural traditions may have specific requirements, and increasingly common celebration of life services sometimes allow more flexibility, but traditional formal attire never offends.

When uncertain about what to wear to a funeral, default to conservative business formal attire in dark colors. Contact funeral home or family member if questions arise about specific service expectations. Remember that attending funeral and offering support matters far more than having perfect outfit—make respectful effort with clothing you have, and your presence and compassion will be what grieving families remember.

What to bring when visiting a grave after the funeral has different considerations than what to wear during service, as cemetery visits are typically less formal. Can you visit any cemetery to pay respects, and appropriate dress for cemetery visits is more casual than funeral services themselves.

The evolving nature of funeral dress codes reflects changing social norms while maintaining core principle of respectful appearance. Whether attending traditional funeral, religious service, or celebration of life gathering, thoughtful attention to appropriate dress demonstrates your respect for the deceased, support for grieving family, and understanding of the solemn occasion.